my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymoremy wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore

my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore11 Mar my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore

I desire tenderness and affection, not just an orgasm. After being away for a month I lay there hoping to speak to to my wife and greet her in the morning after a long nights sleep. I still plan/need to continue working in a high tech job many hours a week, with excellent insurance, which is fortunate, and there is no way she can drive or work for several decades now. not someone to basically jerk off into. Life is tough, and tougher knowing you are not going to get laid. So, maybe you need to think about going back to being friends and not husband and wife? We males, as the so perceived alphas in these situations, just accept and go along with the flow without ever considering the other; the what if . Feel like I have him a lifetime!!! My husband is 46 gringo! Weve all heard the answer to no Sex is stop having Sex? I can understand why youre anxious about talking to your wife about this, but communication is the only way youll get out of this impasse. My wife determined several years ago that she no longer has that connection to me, and will eventually leave. 3. But you cant fix a problem if you dont know the cause. she and I cannot even sit on the couch and watch TV as she scoots away from me. My wife is 61 and Im 57. As far as the guy I liked, nothing ever came of it. She is a poor communicator and no matter how much I ask she gives me the silent treatment and thinks its OK. So sorry to read this Pamela, Im in the same boat with my lovely wife, terribly depressing. For women its submitting to the protector of her choosing and bearing only his children. Back issues and menopause have completely removed my interest in sex. If so, it could be that the side effects of her depression, or even the medication she is on to treat it, are lowering her libido. She is BI/Sexual she said & needs a women or two..So that leads me to find some one else or join in that the only way i get some sex from herSo Monica & Pamela Start looking for some Bi/sexual or Gay Women.Their only an Orgasm a way!!! If I was younger, much younger I would have more options. Denied the enjoyment, should they be expected to put the same effort into the preparation? 2 children later sex was still fun. EXACTLY!!! Marriage, pregnancy, childbirth, coupled with a sea of hormonal changes at different stages of life, can make a woman gain weight and send her self-esteem nosediving. When I say intimacy, I do not mean just intercourse. Huddle up with your wife and ask, If there were something you could change about our sex life, what would it be?. 6. When's the last time you two had a long, heartfelt conversation? Cheers Rl. He is suffering from a mental health issue. If his wife refuses to explore solutions he will need to tell her the following. My wife never touches me anymore after weve had our child, Greg told us. During our engagement I made it crystal clear that my sex drive was high & she was the perfect woman to relieve it. When we DO have intimacy, it usually comprises me masturbating until she finishes me with her mouth (which she still likes to do) and her using one of those power vibrators that sound like a jackhammer to get herself off. If your sex life is devoid of experimenting with new sexual positions, role play, dressing up, creating a sensual ambiance, theres a chance that the same sexual routine has become boring and tiresome for your wife and she has started avoiding all physical contact. When we first met, we had sex 2X a day morning and night. We men are so caught up in our egos . 1. LoL. Only once really in love. BUT I agree If I was an electronic game, or a bead of some kind I would get some attention.. We have had a very good sex life up until a few years ago, and she has had many good sexual adventures. That partner depriving you of that intimacy does not give a damn what you do just as long as you do not bother them about it or it interferes with their favorite TV show! Especially because . Hes my best friend, the love of my life, an amazing Dad, my confidant and my everything. She said, YOU WILL LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN?! Life is way too short! Prostate cancer is the #1 cancer in older men and when the prostate is removed during surgery it makes a man totally impotent no erection, no ejaculation, no orgasm plus total incontinence which means the post cancer patient needs to wear Depends diapers for the rest of his life. He is impotent due to hydrocele and he plans to have surgery until hes 65. * https://disqus.com/admin/universalcode/#configuration-variables There is some offensiveness directed towards men but I can benefit from your observations. Sadly that BIG thing was Give Up Sex and just get over it. He sits around the house and watches tv all day long. I also think they pretend to be happy. We cant really talk about it because the very subject causes her great depression because she feels like its all her fault and that she is failure as a lover. Sometimes the answers are only inside of us. Ive communicated my feelings to him many times. 2. So, your wife has told you that her ex didn't treat her that well, yet she chased him. Problem or seek medical help. These promises went on for three years and sex dwindled to once a week, once a month then stopped altogether. If youre living with a gut feeling that your wife avoids intimacy on purpose, it may be time to take matters into your hand to rejuvenate your relationship. Shes happen because we dont have sex or have any form of intimacy. For example, nonsexual touching, which includes kissing, cuddling, and hand-holding, can make people feel . Are you crazy? For a short time shed schedule sex once a week whether or not she felt like itbut then menopause hit and sex dwindled again, diminishing to once or twice a year until we stopped having sex altogether. oh when either of leave the house or return there is a generic kiss. I wish I would catch my wife cheating or even semi cheating. Sorry long diatribe. While its true that marriage isnt for everyone, it certainly isnt worthless. I have asked her why she makes dinner for us even though she hates doing it, and she says its because she loves me. At least your wife gives you a hand job AND wants you to Cum on her tits! I really miss the intimacy we used to have when we were sexual. I do most of the household chores, she doesnt work outside the home, and hasnt since weve been married i constantly compliment her looks,I have been striving for decades to woo her, and sex is now completely off the table, and she wont even cuddle or kiss. We tried and tried to get them to call us but their mother has convinced them that I am to blame for our sons death. I am guilty of that. You can be in a marriage without sex. Then, I got a highly aggressive, estrogen- fired breast cancer. You were something OTHER. Glenn, as a man to another man; its time to let that person go. Then if you still have to, decide. well, about a year ago she took it upon herself to say no more sex. Marriage vows are till death do you part. The problem with respecting a partner who doesnt want sex any longer, is that the other person who does want sex needs to be respected too. Doing some bootie grabbing or not being a standing up participant?!? Dont fool yourself into thinking that what you say or how you say it will somehow turn her back on. I hope this is helpful to someone. I understand women loss interest but still love there husbands and dont want a divorce and most of the time its the same for the guy, I just wish women would be open to their husbands having discreet affairs, not prostitutes just flings. Every study I have ever seen says its over twice as likely for the woman to be the one withholding. Someone who spends all their time on the computer or their phone is looking for something or someone other than the person they are with. I never cared about sex when I was 35 or now at 76! You can bring up your feelings about the importance of sex in your relationship so that she knows and can let you know what she has the capacity for. I worked my butt of the keep a sexless marriage away. I wish she would just go away and never come back, shes got just about everything I own. However if these women get divorced they have a sexual oasis spring up again between their legs because they need to find a new nest. Pretty graphic stuff. It may also be helpful for her to speak with her doctor to see if there are other treatment options that might help. Given the fact that 34%, (some studies say as high as 40%) of women and 15% of men dont like/want sex, is it any wonder that 50% of marriages end in divorce? My husband will not have sex with me anymore. Tired of initiating intimacy? After chemo and radiation, they put her on hormone suppression drugs, which reduced her libido a lot. I just dont get it. Sorry Mate. According to my research MOST sexless couple dont divorce. My wife and I had a beautiful sex life until she started to have complex female problems that resulted in a partial histerectomy and even after the procedure she finds sex very painful. I am new to this. Like Nike says, just do it. Sexuality is just part of the human condition but a life partner who is no longer interested or capable of providing that experience must be respected and understood. Who gets up and takes card of them? 7. In addition to working with individuals in her private practice, Kelly serves as the Sex & Relationships Editor at mindbodygreen. Will not do anything about it.. Refuses everything and anything to do with sex. But each night i rub her feet and tickle her thighs..she just lays there ..and I go out and sleep in a recliner. So the time has come to find a willing older gal and have an affair and feel alive and like a man again Youre describing my dilemma to a tee. The wife never initiates physical contact if shes unhappy with the strength of the relationship, says Gopa. But unfortunately I do feel that it is my fault I just wish I knew what and that I could make it better. Some women do not compartmentalize their emotions the way some men do, and thus may be more easily preoccupied during sex. Since this is our first child, I dont even know whats normal and what isnt. So we settle. Why would anyone want to have sex with your pessimistic, crotchety, excuse-ridden ass? Susan.I second Seans reply to you. Who risks? I have spoken to my wife several times. Add to that some other longstanding unresolved low sex drive and relationship problems caused by their mate (me) in the past, and strict un_affectionate anti_sex parents in her upbringing. OATS and Senior Planet are charitable affiliates of AARP: | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy. Got lost there. nuff said. :(, Wow Chris D!! My husband has showed be very no closen in for years. Feeling this discrepancyor feeling like your partner is always asking for sex when you don't want itcan make the lower-libido person feel pressured into having sex. Many health issues can affect a woman's sexual desire, from diabetes to chronic pain conditions to cancer. You can usually put these triggering events into two main categories. She saw her doctor and prescribed a lube but it irritated her. Im 65 and just want a happy, peaceful existence and I cope with EVERYTHING 100% , except sex. But on the other side Id the coin, Im dying for not having any kind of touch. If a couple's sex life continues to follow a routine that doesn't tend to feel good for the woman, she may lose interest in having sex entirely. With out being rude . What to do about it: Similar to any other health issue, it's important to be compassionate and supportive of a partner struggling with mental health. Drying up was a major problem. It sounds like you need a little bad-boy edge to get her engine revving. I dont know where to start. While men often connect to their wives through physical intimacy, a wife needs a mix of physical arousal and emotional intimacy to feel connected to her partner. I get it and don't want to add to her stress. Loved sexI mean with exuberance and joy. It is indeed like forcing down a tasteless meal for someone elses sake. And Im okay with that. Because of its addictive nature, it rewires the brain by desensitizing you. I have suffered from sexual dysfunction ever since I started having sex at 15 back in the mid 1970s. If your spouse has been going through such a patch, you must be a supportive husband post-pregnancy. Many men and most women are connected through sexual intimacy. Id say he has some other issues. This is a huge problem, how can I live with someone who feels this way? State your case to your partners. Its only going to get worse. This put stress on things as did a lack of acceptance from my mother, to my Wife, until she died at 97. That leads to no communication and uselessness. Since I dont know your wife and I dont know anything about your conversational style or hers, I cant give you the magic words for getting the conversation started. Sex was great and plentiful in beginning (weve been together 32yrs), but he has lost all interest and I havent had sex in years. The thing thats in the way the most for me ISNT all the atrophy, the breast surgery, the continuing oral chemo therapy, the fatigue that I have. He masterbates quite often and I have come home to find him watching porn on the couch and masterbating. After menopause she lost interest in sex because of vaginal atrophy. All that said, unless your wife has a known health condition that she's currently managingor she's had a very sudden and significant change in her sex drivedon't assume that her lack of interest in having sex with you means something is medically wrong with her. He said hed think about this. Its super annoying if he touches my breasts because I get aroused and then we just cant get it going and then so much unanswered frustration comes. * I demonstrate my love for her in so many ways, little notes, letters, flowers messages in song, other women including young women I work with say they would love to have someone who loves and respects their partner and relationship like I do. Here is a video explaining mental illness that might help. If you think Im going to live the rest of my life without sex your absolutely out of your mind. Prostitutes are not a good option since all the bad stuff in the sex industry world and I feel that I am too old to move on and I am not a chick magnet. I think Im in love and theres no turning back. There are physical and emotion consequences to withholding sex from a partner. 10 year sexless marriage. I think it was a relief for him because he was not much into sex. He tries to manipulate me about everything and after 30 years of marriage I am over it. Nothing before marriage, nothing on our wedding night and little to nothing for the next 46+ years. It works for him. That said, you should also think about how youre trying to arouse your wife. BTWsome in your wifes position build great insurmountable resentment. I suggested just me doing him and he close his eyes and touch me nope. Indifferent withholders like my wife NEVER get better and their partners either leave or become bitter! I was active outside a few times with permission, after 7 years of zero sex, and was not having problems engaging in it, but that had to stop when I tried to help a person I was seeing was caught. What r u holding on for?! I honestly dont know what happens to men as they age. Can we please talk about how we each feel about sex in our relationship? At your age, dont run until you exhaust all your options. Or you can try and find a willing partner. It hard to bud out. I dont clean enough, cook enough, keep on top of appointments, follow his assignments since youre retired now, you can do and I get assignments. My nephews, 1x/month on average, so I dont over do with outside the marriage things at all nor overspend, AT ALL. But I noticed the past 3 years she has seldom initiated intimate relations, and I attribute that to she likes to use her ipad and play puzzle / word/ and brain teaser games and does surf her FB some. She has owned her own retail furniture store for 10 years and has expressed her desire to sell and get a job until retirement. I refuse to live out my life not feeling special. (Note to women reading this thread: though the accepted wisdom is women love big penises, Ive found in my experience that its certainly not universal. He never smiles? I never signed up to be married and not getting sex. I wish you well and hope you find some consolation I lve my wife more now then when we got married. I asked her to consult with her doctor about her sex desire and they may prescibe hormone therapy. Senior Planet subscribers also get The Weekly Orbit, our newsletter with features about personal finance, health and fitness, technology tips, an online book club and more! You need to find a woman who respects you and wants to be intimate with you on a consistent basis. 2nd doctor also said the same thing. Thank you for sharing! If shes not in the mood neither am I . A lack of emotional connection can make it hard for women to establish physical intimacy, even with their own life partner. Scented coconut oil is a great way to give her a message. Equality sounds great in principle people should be equal, right? Prior to that, for seven years, we would occasionally engage in oral, which was unsatisfying since it was one sided and felt mechanical. Even if you have something as small as a minor headache or you cut yourself while cooking, a loving wife will always be ready to pounce and get the first aid kit. Does your wife struggle with self-love? There is one category which never seems to be covered in these kind of forums, that is where one partner is both medically unadvisable to have sex. It is equally open to the man to be charitable by eating alone. , motherhood, or work anxiety can cause your wife to feel too overwhelmed for intimacy. Hope your marriage will last till you die you depart. I work hard and have to masturbate sometimes to fall asleep. I think that the advice to seek a trained sex therapist, and the encouragement to increase communication between this man and his wife is appropriate and excellent. We now live in a society that it is selfish or disrespectful for a man to insist or ask for sex. 3. She wanted me to be sexual with her, but would not reciprocate. **Women are constantly told to shut up and accept. 25 Romantic Things To Say To Your Husband, 12 Things To Do When Husband Is Not Affectionate Or Romantic, 7 Ways To Get The Romance Back After Having A Baby, 10 Best-Selling Relationship Books Couples Can Read Together, How To Make Up For Forgetting Your Anniversary 8 Ways To Do It. Over 12 years no sexual contact. Sex is a HUGE part of a marriage, are you kidding me? If you have gone through months or years of being patient with your wife and still arent feeling physically connected, it may be time for marital counseling. . He has performance anxiety. Now he tries to help, but its always falling on me, no matter the pain to do it. I am very hormonal being athletic and take DHEA supplements which enhance desire. Thats crazy my husband is the one who is lacking in wanting orgasms, I still need them daily so I continue with out him, I am tired of all the good years I wasted on him waiting lol our kids are grown and gone I still love sex! But wasnt it lovely when we were young and lithe and our bodies would do anything we asked of them? After the Revenge cheat she had the nerve to People get lazy and just expect sex to happen because theyre married. Id go get some attention somewhere if I could. Put simply, she needs me as a caregiver and husband, as our son and 5 grand kids moved away for church school 2 years ago. Now Im in my mid-50s, but have no problems whatsoever getting primed for sex. Get your answer. we always believe that we are being judged . Hello Mary I can imagine how frustrating it it is for you.I am 65 years old and my wife is 64.My wife is on anti-depressants and she says that she has no desire for sex We have been married for 44 years now.I last had sex about 8 years ago My wife is a very beautiful woman and I am absolutely so frustrated and find that looking at porn and mastubating is not ideal anymore, What I need is a woman, but I am afraid to approach another woman for sex for the fear of rejection, I do not want to have sex with a prostitute. If its just drynesswhich is common as women ageas well as using lubricant youll also want to be sure that your wife is aroused, even before any genital touching. I have done the majority of housework including doing the major role of raising our children from Pre school to leaving home. Being refused is an essential part of the life of a person who is proactive in getting his or her wants met. If men put in as much energy they put in sneaking around spending money on hookers and put all of his energy on his wife by taking 50% of the household chores and helping his wife out with the kids and having him spice up their sex lives you will see more action in the bedroom then before as long as you are sweet and loving towards her you will always get lucky.

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